Have you ever started a sentence with “They make me feel…”? I know I have. When I notice myself saying this, I quickly turn it around to “When they did… I thought… and felt …”. I realized many years ago that no one can make you feel anything.
I have moments when I feel jealous or resentful of other people’s accomplishments. I have had moments of spiralling into self-doubt when someone has criticized me. And, I have experienced insecurity when I have gotten into an argument with someone and worry that they will reject me.
Often, I hear my clients tell me that others make them feel insecure, doubtful or unworthy. I remind them about the Law of Attraction notion that what we focus on we attract, and the Law of Reflection’s premise that the Universe is set up as a reflection of what is going on inside of us.
It is true that there are behaviours and aspects of others that we do not like, want, or prefer that cause painful and uncomfortable emotions. We may have people in our lives that are extremely unsupportive or critical.
OUR PERCEPTION IS OUR MIRROR
As per the Law of Allowing, have the courage to allow people to be who they are, while simultaneously moving away from them. And, continue the process of being who you truly are, and create the life of your choosing.
Much of our discomfort and pain is due to our perception of the situation and ourselves. Their words, deeds and behaviours would not cause suffering if we felt solid in our value and worth.
People in your life will mirror parts of yourself for you to look at so you can bring yourself to a higher level. The universe will bring people and circumstances into your life that will cause issues to come up in order to be healed. If other people are challenging you, view these challenges as a great catalyst help you come into your Truth.
Your truth is the picture of how you prefer your life to be like. Your truth is the best version of you. It is the real you. It is just buried under a lot of false beliefs.
How to Access Your Truth:
- Be mindful. Pause to connect to your thinking and feeling; Notice what is going through your mind when you feel bad about yourself inside emotionally.
- Accept your self deprecating thoughts. Acceptance means become aware & acknowledging what is. It is important to see your thoughts and feelings clearly and hold these thoughts, feelings and yourself with compassion. Acceptance is the first step to change.
- Be vigilant with your thoughts: Be the bouncer of your mind. You get to choose what thoughts you hold onto and what you focus on.
- Make the decision to feel worthy and good enough. Feeling worthy and good enough is a choice. Make a declaration and commit to it. “I have decided that I am worthy, valuable and good enough!” Write out a number of affirmations about your worth and value and repeat them daily. Your value is unconditional. You are valuable because you exist!
- Let go of the need for other people’s approval. Approval seeking is looking for our own value in the opinions of others. It is believing that their opinion is more important than our own about ourselves. When others opinions matter more than our own, we are allowing others to define us. I love this quote by Terry Cole-Whittaker, spiritual teacher and author, “What you think of me is none of my business”.
- Speak your truth with compassion: Many people have difficulty asking for what they want, saying no or expressing their opinions. They often fear that others will judge them or reject them as a result. Speaking your truth is allowing yourself to be who you truly are. People who resonate with you will accept and want all of you, not just part of you.
Francesca Dattilo, Heartset Coach for Success, is a coach, speaker and author.
“Do less for success and create the freedom for life balance and harmony.”