I have worked with several business coaches over the years. Even though I am very appreciative of their guidance, anytime you are asking for the help of others (and even when it is unsolicited by you), you may receive suggestions, advice or ideas that just don’t quite fit. Initially, you might question yourself wondering if maybe what doesn’t feel quite right is simply fear and the other person must be right because they are the expert. You wrestle with self-doubt. You wrestle with trying to please others and wanting their approval.
BALANCING PRIORITIES, DEMANDS, WANTS AND SHOULDS
I know I am not alone, I have worked with many clients who struggle with balancing their priorities; those things that are important for them to get done, with others demands; those things that other people want you to do or get done. They somehow feel that they are a bad person or will not be liked if they say no. At times, they cannot say no to others and yes to themselves because they think they are not deserving of getting what they want.
Or, they struggle with balancing what they want with what they should be doing. And, often those “shoulds” are the requests or expectations of others, real or assumed. So, they say yes to everyone else, feel resentful and their self-respect goes down.
Balance in both areas above often requires emotional intelligence and being interpersonally skilled, being able to ask for what you want, and say no to what you don’t want while maintaining and or improving the relationship and maintaining or improving your self-respect.
BENEFITS OF SAYING YES TO YOURSELF WITH BALANCE
Tending to your priorities and demands along with your wants and shoulds is essential to tending to your relationships. It prevents stress from building and potential blow ups. The longer that relationships are uncared for the harder they are to repair.
If you are not able to ask for what you want or say no, you neglect your self, your life gets out of balance and you lose sight of what is important to you. The Law of Allowing, a very important Law that supports the Law of Attraction speaks to the importance of following your own path.
The Law of Allowing is the principle of least action and no resistance. When you are without resistance your thoughts and feelings are in aligned with your desires and you are connected to your higher self, which is the truth of who you are. You are then able to attract what you want with more ease and grace.
Allowing is giving yourself permission to be who we truly are. It is speaking your mind and choosing your own path, regardless of what others tell you. It is letting go of judgment of yourself and worries about what others are going to think of you when you choose your own path. When you allow for yourself and your wants, you demonstrate self-love and appreciation and you open the channel for the universe to provide.
Francesca Dattilo, Heartset Coach for Success, is a coach, speaker and author.
“Do less for success and create the freedom for life balance and harmony.”